The depth of our struggles lie in the degree to which we resist, or fight against, “what is”!
I am sure you have heard the saying, “What we resist persists.”
Have you ever found that the moment you accept what is happening around you, or to you, you actually feel more able to respond?
It is like the more you resist the worse the feelings, the darker the outcome seems, the more strain and fear and worry consumes our thoughts and a mental blockage stifles any possible path to moving forward.
The opposite of resistance is acceptance!
The moment we bring ourselves to a state of acceptance, a flower blossoms, potential flows. Ideas are birthed and pathways open before us which reveal a way forward that was hidden, or, we simply gain the ability to breathe once again and can handle the uneasy feelings.
Acceptance doesn’t mean we agree with our circumstances, or that the situation is right or wrong, acceptance is an open and honest acknowledgment of what is happening, good or bad, happy or sad.
When we stop pushing against it, we are more open to finding a way through it.
Sometimes sitting with all the emotions of “what is” can be uncomfortable, that is part of the reason why it is easier to resist because “we don’t want to go there”. Allowing ourselves to feel painful emotions like disappointment, hurt, rejection, uncertainty, loss, even death can seem overwhelming at the time. However, the longer we deny those emotions, the longer we are allowing the circumstances to hold us prisoner.
“What is” can be; change, conflict or illness, it can be related to work or relationships, our finances, circumstances outside our control like an accident, the weather, the economy, or something affecting a group you belong to. The circumstances are endless, time – usually the lack of, the season of life you are in whether that be single or married, young or old, commitments, wherever you find yourself and whatever you are facing right now is your “what is”.
Our resistance is often coming from a place of F.E.A.R – False Expectations Appearing Real (I saw this definition the other day and loved it!), we feel victims to the situations rather than realizing that we actually have more control over our reactions than we realize.
How much do we contribute to our own suffering through resistance rather than acceptance?
When have you found yourself more able to respond to circumstances when you have accepted them rather than resisted them?
“When fear wakes up inside, and there is no place to run away or hide from it, consider it a gift. In all the glory of that discomfort, know there is refuge in surrender.” ~Erin Lanahan