How can one name have the power to bring fear and pain back to our lives?
The answer lies in the legacy of abuse!
For me, one name brings fear to my heart and the memories of hurt and pain flooding into my mind. No matter how we move on with our lives, the memories of past abuse still live on, but just like grief they become a little weaker as we continue to move forward.
Just seeing or hearing his name can bring back regret. Why wasn’t I stronger? How did I allow it to go on for so long? Why did I forgive him so easily, making excuses for him? How could I have been so blind to the effect it was having on my children? Why did I believe him over what my heart was telling me?
These are questions I have grappled with and over time found peace and forgiveness with, but memories can’t be erased only their ability to continue hurting us. Unfortunately our mind, if we let it, can draw us into questions we know we have already answered.
I can give the memories the power to renew the hurt or I can take back the power and focus on all I have learnt and the good which now reigns in my life. I don’t have to live in fear or self-doubt anymore, I can live free. I can choose to forgive him and release myself from his grip on my life, so that I don’t have to live in fear or regret anymore.
I am so thankful that there is one name more powerful than any other upon which we can rely: One name that can remove the fear and ease the memories in a heartbeat when we call upon him: One name that brings peace and strength and calmness to the storm of flooding memories: The name of Jesus brings all He is into our lives to, touch all that has been broken, restore hope and peace and to bring joy. The legacy of His name is all powerful and able to conquer all others to the glory of God.
My prayer today is that in time I will no longer be flooded with fear of him or painful memories, but that God would fill my heart with compassion for a man who has been deeply hurt in his life and who desperately needs the healing hand of God upon his heart.