“Comparison is the death of joy.”
― Mark Twain
You know the feeling…Others are celebrating success and you feel depressed, uneasy, full of self-doubt and question everything…Your dream, your goals, your worth and yourself!
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” – Iyanla Vanzant
A classmate achieves a distinction on their latest exam; your friend gets straight A’s on their report card; your colleague gets a promotion or a pay rise; your competitor gains recognition in the industry; or your team members reach amazing goals and you feel like you are pushing a huge boulder uphill and being left behind, you did the study, you focused on the work, you came up with innovative ideas, you did all you could!
You want to celebrate WITH them, you want to be happy FOR them, you want to congratulate them on their efforts and achievement and your soul wants to do it from a place of genuine, heartfelt joy!
BUT, there is a deep heaviness in your heart and mind!
The ‘logical’ conclusion you reach is YOU must be a FAILURE, you must be USELESS and you may as well GIVE UP because you’re never going to make it! All the study, the striving, the work, it’s not working…On and on the doubts and fears take over.
One of the greatest MISTAKES you can ever make is to listen to those LIES and quit, to give up on your dream just because it is taking you longer than you planned. Just because you have worked your butt off and have not yet seen the results. Just because others are where you wanted to be and it feels further away than ever.
“Whatever your passion is, keep doing it. Don’t waste time chasing after success or comparing yourself to others. Every flower blooms at a different pace. Excel at doing what your passion is and only focus on perfecting it. Eventually people will see what you are great at doing, and if you are truly great, success will come chasing after you.”
― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem
There is no failure where you consistently show up and do the work.
We set goals to create momentum to open up the possibility of more; more growth, more learning, more abundance, and living more passionately.
Your journey and your destination are uniquely yours, the lessons learned along the way, including patience and perseverance, are uniquely yours. No two roads to the same qualification or achievement are the same, some get there on what seems like a straight road and others get there navigating every road block and detour along the way. The detours and road blocks shape the depth of the journey and make the achievement all the richer. Triumph comes through the struggle.
In the long run, I would prefer the blockages and detours rather than the straight arrow to success. I know the journey itself carries the greatest achievement and the deepest blessings rather than the end goal. If we don’t embrace the lessons along the way and experience true transformation and growth then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment when we reach that goal, success won’t be anywhere near as fulfilling if we leave our heart and soul behind.
Hold on, hang in there, don’t let comparison rob you of your VISION.
Celebrate the victories of others because it will be you one day, it will be you because you didn’t quit and you held on and mastered your fears. You grew not only in your business or your education but most importantly you grew in YOU.
In life and in business I want to be Authentically Me, I want to pursue my vision with heart and soul and be true to what I value most in life, I want to honour each and everyone’s uniqueness, including my own. That means no matter what or how the journey unfolds I must honour each and every moment, the highs and the lows. I must honestly access my own part in the journey: Have I been consistent in even small ways? Have I held true to the vision? Have I continued to do the best I can at this moment given the time and resources I have? If the answer to these is Yes then I can share in the victories of others knowing that I too am reaching towards my goals.
So, with a heart full of rejoicing I can honestly say a HUGE congratulations to all my friends who are celebrating great successes this month, and I can celebrate my own progress and my own consistent efforts knowing that they hold true to my vision.
Release the weight of comparison and in celebrating with others remember to also celebrate YOU.
Love and Blessings
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