The Subtle Ways We Disconnect
What is self-connection and how does it show up in our lives?
We can look at self-connection like a garden.
A thriving garden needs regular attention.
The soil needs to be turned, fertilizer or manure added and most importantly the weeds need to be removed.
As the seeds are sown or seedlings planted, they need water and sunlight to grow, they may need pruning however they will always need weeding. When we ignore the weeds, they grow and drown out the plants, they take the sunlight, the water and the nutrients.
A cared for garden looks alive and vibrant, the plants are strong, resilient to bugs and able to tolerate changes in temperature, and the flowers or produce are abundant.
In our lives the weeds can be negative thoughts and self-doubts, they can be failing to say how you feel or think, it can be ignoring something that’s upset you rather than speaking about it. It can be failing to take care of ourselves, working too hard, not eating well, and not sleeping enough or having time to recharge every day. It can be watching or reading things that don’t inspire or encourage you, we consume things that affect us in many ways not just food.
It may feel like it doesn’t matter at the time however, just like the garden, if we don’t address the weeds they can tend to take over and we find ourselves losing our emotional and physical strength, our sense of happiness and fulfillment in life.
Disconnect for me looked like a breakdown. Stressful job, long hours, taking work home, five children and a home to run. The weeds of fatigue and overwhelm were ignored because I didn’t have the time to deal with them, I had to keep going, and in honesty I didn’t even know where to start. I was constantly pouring from an empty cup with the delusion that I was OK.
I had bought the lie of ‘you just need to push through’, keep striving, you just need to be more productive learn new time management skills. Maybe you have felt or heard these things too.
I say they are a lie because the solution is actually the opposite.
It was only in the stopping that I could reconnect with what was really going on in my world, both internally and externally, that I could see the way forward. It is only when you pause and take time to recharge that you have more to give.
So how can we tell if we, or someone we care about, may be disconnected.
Failing to look after yourself is a big one, sacrificing sleep as a norm, not taking the time to eat well, you feel stressed or overwhelmed all the time, always on the go like you are running from something, not trusting yourself. Ignoring the little whispers of intuition. Failing to speak up when you need to, not putting your ideas or needs forward at work or at home. Feeling lost or not able to find enjoyment in life.
Self-connection builds confidence and trust, it brings awareness that we can then act upon, it instils compassion and care not only for ourselves but for others too. When we nurture our garden of connection everyone gets to enjoy the benefits.
Where in your life have you been disconnecting, where have you been pushing through instead of pausing?
One way to nurture self-connection is with a simple morning routine, making sure the first hour of your day sets the intention for the rest of your day. Simple things like exercise, meditation or even just sitting in silence for a few minutes without distraction, reading something that inspires or motivates you, setting intentions for how you want to show up in the day, and journaling.
The important thing is to connect with yourself before you allow the agenda of the world, your phone, work, social media and even your family to set it for you.
One way that you can reconnect is through journaling, taking some time to reflect on thoughts, feelings and intentions, it can even be a great way to process conflict or problem solve. You can simply write whatever comes to mind or follow some questions to help guide you.
Give yourself the gift of self-connection by checking out my journal prompts to help guide you back home to YOU.
